So –
apparently - Uggs are not a fashion statement in New Zealand.
(Allow
pause for shocked response).
I know!
WTF! Clearly, as a catwalk-savvy Brit with my finger on the fashion’s beating
pulse, I know style when I see it. Plastic pink faux snakeskin pencil skirt
withstanding, it’s not often I’m wrong in my choice of getup (it was 1999 and I
was experimenting with a new look. From New Look). Dare I say it, I like to
think of myself of Birmingham’s answer to Patricia Field. And, until I moved to
Auckland, Uggs had always been a staple of my winter fashion attire. After all,
if it’s good enough for Kate and Alexa, it’s good enough for me.
You can
therefore imagine my surprise when, sporting said Uggs, my friend stopped me
and said, “What the hell have you got on your feet? You look like a total
bogan!”
bogan1
Australian/NZ informalderogatory
noun: bogan; plural noun: bogans
- an
uncouth or unsophisticated person regarded as being of low social status.
"some bogans
yelled at us from their cars"
It’s pretty
much the equivalent of Kerry Katona shopping in Iceland in her onesie. As we
like to say in Edgbaston – what a chav.
This little
incident illustrates just one of the many differences between New Zealand and
the UK. In England, warm sheepskin footwear is completely acceptable to wear
outside of the Lakes. In Auckland – you’ll be accused of looking “council”.
I wonder if
it’s because they have so many sheep.
Speaking of
national differences, can we take a moment to consider Donald Trump’s attack on
the mayor of London, Sadiq Khan? I refer of course to Trump taking Khan’s words
completely out of context, and alleging on Twitter that he told the citizens of
London not to be “alarmed” over the London terrorist attack. As the BBC’s Jon
Sopel wrote, “This is extraordinary. Can you imagine
after 9/11 a British Prime Minister going after Mayor Giuliani like this?”
I’m reminded of David Cameron’s infamous
quote during a radio interview: "The trouble with Twitter, the
instantness of it – too many twits might make a twat."
(I guess Trump missed that memo.)
On the subject of the London attack, I enjoyed the British
response to the American media’s use of the word “reeling” as in the New York
Times headline “The London attacks hit a nation still reeling from the shock of
the bombing in Manchester almost 2 weeks ago.” This naturally invoked a
patriotic rebuttal in the form of hashtag #ThingsThatLeaveBritainReeling (as in
– things that ACTUALLY leave us reeling) and they included…
- · When you see someone making a cup of tea and they put the milk in first
- · Someone holding a door open for you when you’re an awkward distance away so you have to jog a few steps
- · People not using there, their and they’re correctly
- · People who sit next to you on the bus
- · People who make tea in the microwave
- · Choosing the wrong items for a meal deal and having to pay 10 quid for a bottle of water, a sandwich and a Twix
- · A pause of longer than 4 seconds on Radio 4
- · Not catching someone’s name and having to spend the next three decades avoiding introducing them to anyone
- · When people jump a good British queue
- · When someone stands just that bit too close to you in the queue
- · When someone doesn’t apologise profusely for doing nothing wrong
- · Spilling your pint
- · Somebody getting a guitar out at a party
My favourite part of the national response was that: “The
photo of a man feeling the scene of the terror attacks while also drinking his
pint has become a symbol of London’s resilience.”
Well, quite, have you seen the price of a pint in the city?
I also enjoyed Sathnam Sanghera’s tweet in the aftermath of
the attack that “Some twat in his café is complaining loudly about the quality
of the almond milk, so think it’s safe to say London’s way of life continues”.
In other #BreakingNews, I have just perused Heat Magazine on
the World Wide Wide – known to the rest of the world as “reading Heat” – and
there was not a single story about Katie Price AKA Jordan. NOT ONE!!!! WTF? I leave
England for 5 years and Jordan disappears under a rock? What has the world of
(D-Class Celebrity) come to? There were lots of taglines about people I DIDN’T
know: “Things KICK OFF between Lotan Carter and Hannah Agboolah in tonight’s
Big brother”… “Bellad Hadid liked a picture of The Weeknd on Instagram (AND
THEN UNLIKED IT)” (Sheer journalistic brilliance that one.)
Every time I read the name, ‘The Weeknd’, I wonder – was that a
mistake? Did he mean to write ‘The
Weekend’, accidentally missed out the second ‘e’ – and then just decided to own
it? I have visions of him receiving his contract and going “oh shit! I missed
the ‘e’! They’re going to think I’m a total idiot if I go back to them… let’s
just roll with it. It looks kind of cool. Mysterious. Nobody is gonna know how
to say it properly. That always helps things. After all – look at Symbol.”
On a different topic, they have recently redecorated one of
the rooms at the gym and filled it with various fitspo quotes to keep everyone
motivated when they are secretly looking for a way to run out of the room as
soon as the Instructor’s back is turned (you know who you are). You know the
theme: change your game. You vs you. Don’t give up. Pressure makes diamonds.
Etc. I was walking through the gym at 7am this week and heard this gem from one
of the Instructors:
“I don’t care what they write up on these walls. Listen to
me. FAT. NEVER. SLEEPS. You got that? FAT NEVER SLEEPS!”
#Amazing
#ThingsThatLeaveSarahReeling
I am totally stealing that one.
OVERHEARD AT THE MILL
Group
Fitness Instructor: You back on Tinder?
Me: No. I
hate Tinder. It’s full of weirdos. Are you on it?
Group
Fitness Instructor: No. We don’t need Tinder. That’s what our classes are for.
Sometimes I
wish I was a man.
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